Blog Have you got something for Sneak? Email Sneak now, confidentiality (nearly always if you ask nicely) assured! The Sneak Archive - check out what has gone on before ...
10th - 
It seems Ex-Fest has been visiting the good old Isle of Man with a few of the other branch members, Sneak learns. And just what did they get upto on this visit? Pubs, breweries or both? Well ex-Fest continues the story, "Just thought that you should know that the A & A members behaved very strangely in the Isle of Man. They were offered a tour of the brewery at Laxey but promptly declined the invitation. What, you may ask, could be happening for the assembled throng to dismiss this invite. I think that all can be explained by the attached photos. I think that I need say no more." Personally, Sneak thinks that Father Jack and Mr Ccap have a lots of questions to answer!
9th - On a recent visit to the Fountain, 100o noticed a new beer being produced. Gayles HSB. 'Nuff said.
27th - "Howdy Doody Sneak" [does Captain Kirk never give up?] "As my head is just clearing from last nights celebrations, I thought I would bring you up to speed on the Royal Oak at Friday Street as it now boasts six local bitters, one local mild, four ciders and one perry, all on hand pump. Not bad for one bar in a country pub. Last night was the presentation of Sussex pub of the year and Surrey and Sussex pub of the year. Had we not stopped at the George and Dragon in Tarring on the way back I think I would have felt a lot better." Well there must be a god then!
24th - After much debate about the worth of the "rod" and the "perch" as units of measurement Sneak returned 'home' to find this "Hi De Ho Mr Sneak [Mr no less] More pix from the wealthy part of Sussex that is Litllehampton. The Marine (Enterprise Inns, currently closed) and The Crown (Jolly Green Giant, also closed). [You will have to find the pubs - not the pictures - yourself as Sneak is feeling lazy and it is well past his bedtime.] The interior shot was taken through the smashed side window and shows bottles still on the shelf. The bailiffs must have missed them. [Whooooops.] Keep sneaking. Cap'n K [noless].
23rd - Seems that the water has over flowed from the kettle as it reached that special temperature! [WTF?] That is money to you and Sneak.
12th - "After the visit to Ray Welton's brewery last Thursday," starts Cap'n K, "instead of going home via the Selden [as normal], we decided to pop in at the Royal Oak at Friday Street. The beer range and welcome were both up to the high standards we expect. Word behind the bar is that this fine establishment has now been voted Surrey and Sussex pub of the year, (may need to confirm this), and a very worthy winner it is. We had our fingers well and truly on the pulse as far back as the 4th November 2007 when in this esteemed organ its praises were sung. Maybe the Chequer is in with a chance? (20th August 2007)" Sneak is not sure at the moment and can neither confirm nor deny the rumours. However, as soon as Sneak knows you will.
4th - Sneak heard from the (now) philosophical 100o who starts his latest missive off with the news that "the British Beer and Pub Association have just produced figures showing that pub beer sales are at their lowest since the 1930’s as more people stay at home and drink. Sales were 1.6 million pints a day lower (a 10.6% drop) from April to June than during the same period last year. In contrast, sales in supermarkets and Off-licences increased by 3.8% in the same period. They have also produced figures saying that 1,409 pubs closed last year. This brings to mind a quote from the prolific French born, naturalised British writer Joseph Hilaire Pierre Rene Belloc who warned “When you have lost your inns, drown your empty selves, for you will have lost the last of England”. Obviously [of course!] another of his quotes spring to mind “Any subject can be made interesting, and therefore any subject can be made boring” This certainly is applicable for many pub conversations." Yes ... well ... keep up the good work old boy!
25th - "Hi De Hi Sneakie Greetings from L.A." Starts Capt. Kirk (now also confusingly calling himself #69). I was working in LA today so I took a few shots of pubs that are closed at the moment. The 'For Sale' signs are now missing from The Locomotive, and new flats have been built next door, so maybe it is not long for this world. The House Of Soul, now The Spotted Cow (again), but still closed, has had (acording to the taxi driver outside) interest from a local pugilist with plans to go more bit food biased." You want to see the pictures? Well alright then click here.
15th - While 100o is updating us on the numerous pubs in the branch area he has been a bit slack in reporting back to Sneak. 
However, all change for July and Sneak is pleased to present Mr Cap (less). 100o says "Here is a picture of Mr Cap looking very forlorn on an outing to the Petworth area. Notice he is wearing glasses to act as a disguise and is not wearing a cap or braces. He is also without his drinking buddy Father Jack."
6th - Disaster struck! Sneak knows how Gordon Brown must feel - everyone out to get you. But this is worse. Our very own Branch Chairman "BB" visted the Old Slaughtered Lamb and ordered a pint of Whitstable East Anglia Pale Ale (a very light coloured, hoppy ale) in a jug. However he proceeded to drink someone else’s bitter, which was in a straight glass and decidedly different colour. Said incident was witnessed by many including 100o - who has tabled a motion for the next meeting censoring our beloved leader.
19th - Well it had to happen ... after nearly five years Sneak has had a complaint! "Dear Sneakie," starts the complainants email, "I was very surprised and angry when I read (several times) the nasty slurs on those nice people, Father Jack and Mr Cap that you printed [tecnically they haven't been printed - Sneak] in Sneak. As you can see from the attached photo, they can usually be seen in reflective mood (outside the Bottelje), particular in the case of Mr Cap who was properly attired wearing his smart jacket unlike the scruffy individuals who composed the rest of the Arun & Adur party. Yours Exfest in Devon". Well what can Sneak add but in the hope Sneak doesn't get sued here is the picture. You can make your own minds up.
16th - "Yo Sneakie" starts this rather lengthy missive from Cap'n K. "Transported to my favourite country over the weekend to make shure that standards were being maintained. I picked up a brouchure for the Oostende kite festival only to find that on the reverse, an advert for Radio 2 (Belgian) features what appears [surely there can not be two! - Sneak] to be Mr Cap on his way back from the Botteltje after an agreable luncheon with father Jack, the cap is on order, the buttons are working overtime but i'm not shure about the gun and truncheon (see attached)."
Cap'n K continues "On the subject of Father Jack, it would appear that all popadums are his property in the same way that all swans belong to the Queen. This was confirmed in a curry house in Ghent (when in Rome), where he insisted that all the popadums were for HIS meal and no one else could have one. After our return to the Botteltje, Father Jack went AWOL and was not spotted until midday on the Sunday." 
"The highlight of the day in Ghent had to be the visit to Tvelootje bar. Seating was on a plank stretched across two benches, cooking oil tins for tables and beer straight from the bottle, as we were told all the glasses had been broken. Madame Cyn managed two large genvers from what seemed to be cream jugs or egg cups. The interior pictures prove that the bar has been lowered for standards of cleanliness and decor, so certain pubs now have a new target to aim for. I pomissed the owner that we would add a link to his website, so here it is. Sunday was so hot that in between drinks at Noa's in Koksijde our team leader took us to the beach for a picnic on the beach." Sneak understands that Belgium is considering board controls in the near future.
UPDATE: Sneak has arranged with Herr Webmeister to put some more photos of the trip on the website ... here.
10th - Sneak has it on very good authority that Herr Webmeister (HW) was - how do you put it delicately - "merry" today. The well attended launch saw HW behind the bar of the Red Lion in Shoreham - pouring pints of, the rather nice, Adur Brewery's Merry Andrew - but a 6.2% it was to be sipped and the two halves generously donated should have been enough. However, as is the way the poor HW was offered another (and another) and announced "Oh my g*d! It's only 12.30 and I've had five pints!". Needless to say an early afternoon nap was on order.
8th - "Yo Sneakie, [you know who this is don't you?] spotted this in the 'Property Today' paper which has just been transported to my door mat - 'Local Pub On The Market, The Anchor Inn in Storrington'. If you goolge it it comes back as the best pub in West Sussex!!! The advert in the paper says the turnover is £46,000 per annum and the rent is £59,130 per annum. I know that pubcos like to get all the money the can, but isn't charging £252.50 a week more in rent than you turnover a little steep. The 15 year lease works out at just shy of £8000 per annum as well!" Live long and prosper Cap'n K." Sneak is sure that pub co's are that greedy but on closer viewing the advert is wrong and the proper turnover should be £460,000 - a profit of £390,000 a year. A bargin! Whoops has Sneak forgot something, the exorbitant cost of pub co beer, staff, utlities, etc etc. Sneak thinks gross profit will more likely be £0.
7th - 100o (again) is updating us on the Church now Ten and the Royal Coach now AL THE COY ROACH (well at least on the side of the pub)!
2nd - Sneak has yet another posting from the prolific . 100o says "I have it on good authority that Sneak [lies, lies, lies ... no really lies] may be one of the 10% of people in the country who imbibe in an alcoholic beverage at lunchtime. Recent research for Brewers SAB Miller show that the average time of the day for that first pint is 18.14. The findings also found that the average time for the last drink is at 22.37. So not so much a 24 hour drinking culture, more of a 4 hour one." Sneak can't help but worry that he has in a strange position as usually his last drink of the day is 18.14!
30th - Dutch has been absent from this column for a while. However, it seems he is on a one man crusade to drink all the mild in West Sussex. Sneak heard that he was "Sorry, finished off the Arundel Mild last night - next Moorhouses Black Cat then Dark Star , Mild for May." And it is still only April!
28th - It seems 100o is getting about a bit these days, updates to the pub guide include - Yates (closed), Assembly - now Bar Release and suspect dispense of the Jolly Greene Giants IPA at the Waterside. Go on live a little ... Oh it seems 100o is ... fresh up date from the merry Monk ...
15th - Thanks to 100 Degrees for the following web link. Just going to prove there are really brave people out there 100 Degrees starts "Please pass this link onto Sneak. He or she [obviously a new comer has he doesn't remember about Mrs Sneak] may find it interesting. www.worthingpubreviews.co.uk. Basically it is a report on pubs in Worthing from a couple of guys who intend to visit every pub in Worthing in alphabetical order. They walk to each pub and review it. They do one a week and have just started on the C’s." Sneak can't help but think that "C" in relation to Worthing pubs means something else.
14th - Whoops. Sneak appears to have mislaid March somewhere. Reminiscent of a 1980's Lloyd Cole song ... there is a feeling of a "lost month in Worthing".
